I’m here writing, hoping that I can clear my head and explain what I have currently been through in a way that everyone can understand. People have been asking me what’s been going on and in this way I wont have a breakdown without having to say “I don’t know” or “I can’t explain it.”
I keep rewriting the start of this paragraph and I CANT SEE THROUGH, and that’s exactly how I and others beside me feel right now. College students are put under so much stress, especial students of color and first-generations. The stress of having to beat the odds, to help out their family, to have a chance to have a slim better life than the one we group up in. I have witnessed one peer and a dear friend of mine to loose their mind. I believe the amount of stress they have endured has become so traumatic that it has made them go under a personality change/disorder.
(If anyone is reading this and can already relate. Any advice would be appreciated.)
It started off with a party invitation, actually before that if I would have realized before. So I had been invited by two of my friends to a kickback that a friend of theirs was hosting and it so happens that I had taken a class with her prior to that. I’ll name this girl Mary, so in class Mary was a fun person to talk to and discuss. I knew she was involved with school (heavily) and was part of different organizations on campus, worked and had a full load. The kind of student you aspired to be but at the end of it I had motivation to become that involved with campus.
So back to the party. I remember not wanting to go and from this experience Iv’e learned to always listen to your intuition. I end up going because I had never gone out with these set of friends outside of school and I’m fond of them so I thought it would be cute and fun. Prior to that I was also curious because I was informed about Mary’s “quad incident.” Basically Mary was talking gibberish about the corruption of our institution and how the system is against people of color, in her undergarments. So hearing this I couldn’t help but want to see it for myself.
Once I saw her, I noticed something wrong with her. She was